Good For What Ails You

It seems as if most modern medications have dreamy names created by marketing departments, carefully designed to mean nothing, but suggestive of leading-edge therapeutics. You know what I'm talking about if you watch the ads on network news.

I call for a return to naming medicines like this one, Mullen's Hornet's Nest Liniment. None of the modern doctor's namby-pamby "this may sting a little" palaver. This stuff is gonna hurt like hell, and it's gonna work! After all, if you don't feel better after taking something with 66 percent alcohol, chloroform and tincture of opium in it, there's not much we can do.